11 October 2026 #embracehope
I don’t think anyone gets through life without making a big decision that changes the trajectory of their future. A job loss or acceptance, a marriage vow or separation, a move to a new state, receiving an inheritance, going back to school to get a new degree… we view these life changes with optimism, hope, and wonder where life-will-take-us-next. Yes, we also might feel a little anxiety and trepidation, but there’s this underlying current of excitement. We can’t wait to see what comes next. We entertain some thoughts and fashion some dreams with best-case-scenarios in mind.
I’ve experienced those major life events listed above and I imagine you have too. Each one of them caused some anxiety, but a good anxiety. The type of anxiety that forces us to place some trust in the Lord and give more than lip service to the words of Jeremiah: “Know the plans I made for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (29:11). You’re still with me, right?
Here’s the question I’ve been spending some time with the Lord lately. Why don’t we have that same attitude with an unplanned pregnancy? I’ve experienced that one too and it definitely had a different emotional experience than all the other life changes. I’ve been pondering why that was. Deep breath and spoiler alert: I don’t have any solid one-size -fits-all answers, but I sure have a lot of thought patterns I walked around, mostly surrounding cultural norms.
When I conceived a child in college before I was married, culture said that I could never “fulfill my dreams” while raising a child. In certain Gloria Steinem circles, men were an obstacle to personal and professional freedom – I actually ran into that belief when I took a Women’s Studies course a few years back, so it’s still a thing. In those same cultural circles, unplanned pregnancies and children fall into the same category. Just say no… and we have some simple options to assist you. What that thought pattern does to a young woman with child is manipulative. This attitude produces unnecessary anxiety and nurtures fear. It’s also not true.
Culture is also very good at shame. I read an article, “Shame Culture: Why Public Opinion Controls Your Mind” and it was fascinating. When an idea – through persuasion or persistence – captures the minds of people and becomes the predominant opinion, those who do not hold such actions or opinions are shamed. Shame controls our behavior; what we believe dictates our actions. We can be ashamed of our actions AND of what others might think AND our inability to control our future. The first might be helpful, the second is a reality, but the third is dangerous. We cannot control our future. What the Lord has planned for any person’s future is unknown (see first paragraph!). All we have control of is our attitude.
Which led me to human nature. We tend to meditate on the dire instead of pondering the positive outcomes. What if we approached all of the unexpected events in our lives with a certain serendipity – making fortunate discoveries by accident – and intrepidness – facing the future with boldness? What if we faced an unknown future with confidence that the Lord knows what’s best for us and a particular wonder that keeps us grounded in reality but soar with hope?
We’re in the autumn season at the moment, when leaves turn color and change is in the air. I’m reminded of a famous saying, “The trees are about to show us how beautiful it is to let things go.” Let’s let go of shame, manipulation, condemnation, and worry when it comes to the unexpected twists and turns of our lives. God has a plan. And it’s more than we could ever imagine. #embracehope